Permission Granted

I just wanted to give you a quick FLYlady update...I've been shining my sink for 19 DAYS IN A ROW!!! I can't believe it!!! I'm still working on all the other "baby steps". I haven't quite got the hang of them all yet...

Okay, so on to an epiphany I had recently.

In an endless attempt to have a "kept" house, my days would be filled with the mundane task of cleaning, tossing, scrubbing, sorting, etc. I had certain tasks I would do on certain days, but the cycle was completely ENDLESS. At the end of the day, I would fall into bed totally exhausted not really seeing the results I had envisioned. My mind was in direct correlation to my house...cluttered and overwhelmed.

I truly believe I have a "crafty diva" inside me somewhere screaming to get out. Here's the problem: I never got enough done throughout the day to warrant any fun, crafty time for me. Being a perfectionist, enough would never be enough to be able to reward myself with time doing what I enjoy. I would say things like, "Okay, when the pile on the counter in the kitchen is completely gone then..." Or, "When the front room is spotless then..." That "then" NEVER happened until I found FLYlady.

I am realizing that I can do 15 minutes here and 15 minutes there around the house, THEN do 30 minutes of something I enjoy. The tasks don't have to be completed in those 15 minutes because I can come back to them. The point is that I had to begin giving myself permission. What I decide to do during this "me" time is totally up to me and changes daily. Some days I spend all of my "me" time on the floor with the kids...with NO guilt. Other days I may call a friend, spend time on the computer, read a magazine then TOSS it. The possibilities are ENDLESS! :) I love this freedom!

So last week I got CRAFTY!! I've had all these plans for my daughter's room and none of them have been done. She is almost 9 months old now, so I had to get crackin'! Here is what I came up with for one of her walls:

I had a complete blast designing and painting her mirror and bow holder. I even included Alf in the project...he helped me fit the mirror into the frame and "sister pie" is his special name for Shaefer.

So what projects do you have lying around your house or cluttering up your mind begging to get out? Give yourself permission...I want to see PICTURES!! :)

Just take 2 of these...

I was talking with my husband, Alf, last night over a late dinner. I said, "Wouldn't it be totally cool if there were this little magic PATIENCE pills?" He just smiled at me.

No really, wouldn't it be cool? I so want to be more patient with my kids. Some days I have this bottomless pit FULL of patience. Other days...not so much!

I seem to be apologizing to my 5 year old, Trey, ALOT lately. If I hear, "Mommy, that hurt my heart!" one more time, I may turn into a puddle of tears on my kitchen floor.

Today is a NEW day! I am determined that my words, my tone of voice, and my face will communicate how madly in love with them I am!

(God - help me be an accurate reflection of who You are today! You are patience...)

I Need a New Mix Tape!

Who out there remembers either making or receiving a "mix" tape? They were AWESOME!! I'm probably aging myself...but who cares! :) I could listen to that tape any time and immediately picture the person who gave it to me or picture the event where that particular song played. All those feelings come rushing back!

(SIDE NOTE - I just received a "mix" CD from my awesome friend, Melissa, with her song picks from 2007. LOVE IT! I am definitely going to use her as a resource to widen my musical tastes!)

Okay, back on track...as I mentioned a few days ago, I am a new FLYbaby attempting to tackle my home with the use of the FLYlady system. My baby step for DAY 5 was to write down any nagging, negative voices I was hearing in my head about my situation and rewrite positive things to replace them. In an effort to be real, here is what I came up with:

~ This will NOT last! You will quit this...just like everything else you have tried before!
*** I have been consistent for 5 whole days! That is HUGE! Each day is a new opportunity to start fresh!

~ Are you serious? Your house is a complete WRECK! It will take YEARS to get through it all!
*** From FLYlady - I can do anything for 15 minutes! I say, "Small bites = Small victories!"

~ Your husband won't notice all the hard work you are putting into this! He doesn't care!
*** He may not notice, but my motives are pure! I am doing this for ME, my peace of mind and for the peace of my home! In the end, he and the kids end up winning anyway. ;)

I'm sure there are more in there mulling around, but these were my biggies. This exercise really helped me hash through some negative conversations I'd been having with myself. So let's relate this to other parts of our lives.

Years ago, Amanda introduced me to the concept of the "tapes" that run in our minds...usually full of negativity! Come on, sisters...you know what I'm talking about! She and I recently began talking about re-recording those negative words (which are usually TOTAL LIES) with TRUTH. It's interesting though...when I think about the tape that runs in my head, I am one of the "lucky" ones who get both a sound and picture account of my screw-ups. Some times these pictures and dialogues are just flashing images and nagging voices. Other times it is a total "High Def" / "Dolby Surround Sound" experience! The point is that no matter what it looks like, my tapes are false. Sure, I did the things I see, I said the things I hear, I heard what other people said either to me or about me, but they are still FALSE. I am no longer that person!

The personal journey I am on with God is to find out more about Him, to truly know Him and His character so that I can know more about who I really am. The only truth is God's truth, so I'm finding out what He thinks of me so I can re-record those negative tapes with TRUTH. You see, from the moment I asked God to come into my life and change me, from the moment I told Him, "I'm all in! Whatever you've got for me...I'm IN!" He no longer sees the old Kelly. He tells me I am a new creation in Him. Everything I see and hear in those tapes have been forgiven and forgotten about. I can start FRESH! I no longer have to live in fear, guilt, shame, or whatever else is plaguing me. It is a constant battle. I try to immediately send that voice or picture packin' when they rear their condescending head. Some days I get it right, other days I tend to wallow in the pit a bit too long. It's my choice: either I believe what He says about me or I don't. It's pretty easy when you break it down like that. Who better to trust and believe in than the One who made me in the first place?!?!

We all have the tapes! Let's start mixin' 'em up!!

A Huge Thank You!!

All I can say is that you guys are awesome!! Thank you SO much for the encouraging comments and e-mails. I must be honest...I was scared to venture into this new community. I don't know much about it. I don't know all the "rules". I feel like such a "newbie"! I am so excited and I just wanted to stop in and say THANK YOU!!

My Sink is Shiny!

I agree, this is a strange way to begin my first post, but I just wanted to share this picture with you. Can you tell how clean and shiny it is?!?! It is awesome!

Okay, so this is what happened. About 2 years ago my best friend, Amanda, mentioned FLYlady to me. I checked out the cleaning/organizational site, but I was not ready to dive into what the regimen entailed.

Now fast forward to last Thursday. I was hanging out with my awesome friend, Melissa, and her cutie-pie girls talking about ways to decorate her youngest daughter's room. We settled in for sandwiches when I began to flood her kitchen with tears. I'm serious...the flood gates flew open! I confessed to her that I had been crying most of the morning before making it to her house. I felt completely out of control and overwhelmed with life and my house. I attempted to explain to her how the state of my home mirrored the current state of my brain...dirty, cluttered, etc. I felt so overwhelmed to the point of being paralyzed. I was unable to begin anything simply because I didn't even know where to start!!

Later that night, I was on the phone with my spunky friend, Shannon. She intently listened as the flood gates flew open again. She and I became fast friends at church and have been blowin' and goin' ever since! (I miss you!!) You see, Shannon and I have some personality traits in common...we are both perfectionists. Not just perfectionists, but the WORST kind: we are procrastinating perfectionists! Here is a tiny glimpse into how our minds work. We see a task ahead. We want to do it correctly and perfectly the first time. We make whatever task it is at least 100 times harder than it needs to be. We realize that the task cannot be accomplished to "our standards" so it doesn't get done...EVER! And so the cycle goes on and on and on until we are completely surrounded and overwhelmed. All that may sound a bit extreme and silly, but believe me...it's TRUE!! Anyway, Shannon mentioned FLYlady again and actually read parts of the website to me over the phone. I was finally ready!!

The next day I spent some time perusing the site and began to see a light at the end of my tunnel of clutter. It was awesome! I began reading through the list of Baby Steps and realized I COULD do this. Baby Step #1 is Go Shine Your Sink. It sounds ridiculous, but trust me...it works. It seemed silly to start here when the rest of my house was a complete disaster! Let me say this: I've been shining my sink for only 4 days and my outlook has completely changed. It is absolutely refreshing to begin each morning with a "clean slate" with no nasty residue from the day before.

If there is anyone out there that feels the same way I do, let me encourage you: YOU CAN DO IT!! Pretty soon these simple habits I am forming will pave the way to a cleaner home and a more peaceful me!