I wonder what my name is?

When we moved back to Texas 4 years ago, we tackled the huge task of finding a church to call home. We left a full time ministry position in St. Louis and needed to rest, sit back and receive and have God heal our marriage. When we walked into 121 Community Church the first Sunday, we knew without a doubt this would be our new church home. The worship was authentic. The teaching was Biblically sound and full of truth. No gimmicks. No topical studies. Just meat...just what we needed.

4 years later we are still gnawing on the meat our pastor serves up each week. We are walking through the book of John. Here is what I came away with this Sunday:

We looked at John 10:1-21. Verse 3 really jumped out at me. I have read this story many times, I even have it underlined in my Bible (Yes, I mark in my Bible!!). Verse 3 says, "The watchman opens the gate for him (the shepherd), and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." Our pastor expounded a bit on the eastern shepherding culture and it made this verse even more meaningful to me. He explained that the pens or folds that held the sheep would be used by numerous herds at a time. The animals were able to distinguish their master's voice from another shepherd. The verse talks about the shepherd calling his sheep by name. Not names like we think of like Ann or Billy, but names based on the characteristics of the individual sheep. I love that!

Since Jesus compares himself to a shepherd, I remember leaning over to my husband and asking, "I wonder what He calls me?" :)

God - thank you for not giving up on me! You are slowly refining me by chiseling away the stinky, stubborn and rebellious parts of my character.

Provision in the little things

I don't know about you guys, but we live on a budget...a tight one. I'm all about being real, so I'll just tell you that I HATE IT!! Part of me hates the restricted feeling I get when I look at THE monthly spreadsheet. Part of me loves it because God always provides...even in the little things.

Here is what happened today:

Trey, my 5 year old, LOVES fruit. Believe me, I am not complaining! :) We were prepping lunch and he asked for some fruit, specifically an apple. I told him I was unable to buy apples this week. It was no big deal to him (he knows all about coupons and sales!), he moved on to something else and reassured me that maybe next week they would be on sale. Man, I love that kid!! Here is where provision comes in...

In my last post, I told you that I was involved in VBX at our church this week. Today was the last day and I stuck around to help clean up and get things back in order for tomorrow's service. I was sweeping when my friend, the children's minister, asked me if we would eat the fruit that was left over from today's cookout. When I looked up from the pile of chips I had just swept into a neat little pile, I saw a huge bag of apples on the counter. With a huge smile I said YES!! How awesome is that?!?!?!

Trey and I didn't stop to pray specifically for apples today, but God heard the simple request of a 5 year old. He provided...just like He ALWAYS does!

VBX

VBX has taken over my life for a few days. I grew up going to VBS - Vacation Bible School, but my dear friend and children's minister hates the thought of vacation/summer/school being in the same sentence...so our church does VBX - Vacation Bible Xtreme!

God is doing some AWESOME stuff in my life right now. Hopefully this weekend I will be able to spend some time sharing it with you...after VBX!! :)

The BEST Babysitters!!

Okay, so not really...but I couldn't resist posting these pics.

My sweet daughter is now officially mobile. I'm still getting used to the idea of walking being her preferred mode of transportation. Needless to say, there are moments during the day that I lose track of her momentarily (please don't call CPS!!) One of these "moments" happened this afternoon. My husband had mercy on our dogs and let them hang out inside. Texas heat can be horrible! What I didn't get a picture of is the chair that is stationed to the left of the baby gate to help secure their "doggie room." I was enjoying some alone time, minding my own business on the computer when I realized I hadn't heard my sweet girl in a while. We all know what that means!! TROUBLE!! I followed her sweet "words" through the kitchen and I found that she had crawled under the chair to get to her puppies. Holley, the larger lab mix, let Shaefer pat, poke and prod her while Brock, the smaller blue/red heeler wedged himself into the corner to protect himself from any thing baby touching them. Man, they are troopers!!

Just being real - Update

It's been a little over 2 months since I posted this. I figured an update was more than overdue.

I was in a really scary place. A place that I have never been to before and I pray I never go back to. I ended up calling my counselor and explained the following "symptoms":

* not sleeping well
* constantly irritated
* on the verge of tears all the time
* if my anger meter is from 1-10, I felt like I lived at an 8 or 9 all the time
* experienced rage - never had before, I felt like punching walls, even my dreams were violent
* I found myself clinching my teeth throughout the day
* I attempted to get into the Word every day, but it was like I was staring at blank pages...all I knew to do was cry (literally cry) out to God.

We decided the best course of action would be to make an appointment with my doctor. While I waited 2 WEEKS for my appointment, I read over some of my journals from the past few months. I was able to see a slight pattern. Basically I would feel completely out of control until my period began, then all was right with the world. Because of this cycle, my doctor said I was experiencing SEVERE PMS...you think?!?! That's right friends...I have become that crazy woman all the PMS jokes are jabbing at. I've been on Zoloft for the past few months and it seems to help now that the dose is correct. It's also good to note that getting back into the gym, having set "me" time each week and actually asking for help around the house has also helped tremendously. I love my husband dearly, but despite all efforts he cannot read my mind.

So, there you have it and here's to being real!! :)

Defending the Universe

I just peeked outside my kitchen window and caught a glimpse of my son. He is strategically hiding behind a pile of brush we are taking to the street. All he is wearing are his flip flops, Spiderman pajama bottoms, some sort of 1993 Nintendo glove thing and holding a yellow, plastic bat. Because I know my son, I don't even have to guess what he is doing...he is defending the universe against all that is evil! Man, I love that kid!!

The Last Bottle...

Yep...there it is, folks...Shaefer's last bottle! I know I'm a dork for taking a picture of it, but this milestone has been more emotional than expected. Maybe it's because she seemed so much bigger today. Maybe it's because she ate a "real " big girl breakfast this morning. More than likely it's because as far as we are planning, she will be our last baby. So last night, I made my last bottle...