I remember laying in bed on a spring afternoon in April 2005 with tears streaming down my face crying out to God. Loving Him and hating Him all at the same time. Hearing this song being sung by my husband on his guitar somehow brought some peace to me as it permeated through our walls. A few days earlier we had lost our second child through miscarriage. This second pregnancy was a "surprise" to us, but not to God. Through this pain and loss, Alf and I became closer. Through this anger and confusion, we came into a deepness with God like no other time before.
I find myself in this place again, but in different circumstances. I've been home from Cambodia for 1 week now. My heart is still there. A part of me wants to grab my husband, my kids, pack a few bags and head back to the airport. I don't have any words yet. I need God to give me the words to tell His redemptive story of Cambodia. I am pressing into Him and relying on His unwavering character to carry me through this time.
He is alive! He is active! He is there in the midst of the darkest darkness.
I don't have the words...yet. I know they will come. Until then, you get music that interprets my heart! :)
