The Call

Today's Oswald Chambers quote:
"Once someone begins to hear that call, a suffering worthy of the name of Christ is produced. Suddenly, every ambition, every desire of life, and every outlook is completely blotted out and extinguished. Only one thing remains - '... separated to the gospel...' Woe be to the soul who tries to head in any other direction once that call has come to him. Beware of competing calls once the call of God grips you."

Psalm 2:11-12
"Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are those who take refuge in him."

Fear = reverence
Kiss the Son = surrender fully

My prayer is that I can serve Him with reverence and a healthy fear of His greatness. I want to be fully surrendered to Him. No plan B. I only want to live smack dab in the middle of plan A... with Him. I take refuge in Him because He is all I need.

Today's Nuggets

Here is a quote from Oswald Chamber from my devotional book:

"The one passion of Paul's life was to proclaim the gospel of God. He welcomed heartbreak, disillusionment, and tribulation for only one reason - these things kept him unmovable in his devotion to the gospel of God."

I don't pray for an easy life anymore. I pray for a life totally centered on God. Then I ask Him to help me really mean that prayer! :)

Psalm 1:3
"He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

God calls Himself "living water". I want to be planted wherever He is. He is ALL I need. There is no good in me apart from Him. Any fruit seen is only because of Him. I only want to make Him happy... that is TRUE prosperity to me!

Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Proverbs 1:8
"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

I pray that I have a healthy fear/respect of who He is. I don't want to be flippant about Him or what He does.

I pray that my children will have soft hearts towards Him. That they would learn and obey His voice. I pray that their hearts would be bent towards obedience and wisdom. I pray their obedience begins with us! :) I pray that we can be the parents God desires us to be.

Golden Goodness

The Chronicles of Narnia movies are some of our favorites around here. We've seen each one numerous times, sometimes daily! :) The kids enjoy the story, the characters and the animals. Alf and I enjoy those things too, however, we are in love with the story of Jesus Christ (as Aslan the Lion) that is told through each one.

Once we decided to homeschool, I KNEW these books were first on our reading list! We are on book 2 of 6 right now. Trey and I are enjoying reading through these together. He is always quick to point out where the book and the movie don't match up! :) I told him that they can't always do everything the book says or else the movie would be WAY too long. Luckily, that answer was sufficient! The awesome thing about reading these books out loud to each other (besides the obvious reading practice) is that we can talk through it together. Even more importantly I can explain why some passages stick out to me or make me cry when I read them. Because the stories are ultimately pointing to Jesus, I've had more than a few emotional reading sessions. I've included one section below that really struck my heart:

"Both the children were looking up into the Lion's face as he spoke these words. And all at once (they never knew exactly how it happened) the face seemed to be a sea of tossing gold in which they were floating, and such a sweetness and power rolled about them and over them and entered them that they felt they had never really been happy or wise or good, or even alive and awake, before. And the memory of that moment stayed with them always, so that as long as they both lived, if ever they were sad or afraid or angry, the thought of all that golden goodness, and the feeling that it was still there, quite close, just round some corner or just behind some door, would come back and make them sure, deep down inside, that all was well."

The Magician's Nephew (Book 1) by C.S. Lewis

Trey looked concerned as tears rolled down my face as I read this section to him a few weeks ago.

"Are you sad?" Trey asked.

I said, "No sweetie. These words struck me because this is how I feel about Jesus. I am nothing without Him. There is no good in me without Him. From the second I asked Him into my heart many years ago, He has never left me...and He never will."

It was such a sweet time with my son! I love sharing these times with him!

What a Day!!!

Man. Am I glad today's school day is over? YES I AM!! Today was one of those days when I seriously began to doubt our decision to homeschool this year. I knew these days would come. I was warned these days would come. At least I know we are on the right track! :)

Last week, my best friend Amanda and I were discussing our curriculum choices for this year. We were about to begin our 3rd full week and we weren't totally confident in what we had originally chosen for a few of our subjects. Our boys are both in the 2nd grade and similar in a lot of ways. We decided to take that 3rd week to really pray about what was best for our boys, give our current curriculum one more week, then make a decision over the weekend.

The "test" week came and went and we both made our decisions. I decided to stay with what I had chosen for Grammar, while choosing to change our Spelling/Vocabulary. So on Friday I packed up the kids and headed to Mardel to pick up our new curriculum. Trey and I sat in the middle of the aisle looking at all of our options. In the end, we went with a more challenging curriculum but I KNEW he could handle it. I had NO DOUBT! Now I just had to convince Trey that he could do it...

Today was the first day of the new Spelling/Vocabulary curriculum. It did not go well at all! There were tears. Lots of tears. I mean the big, honkin' tears. Tears that stained his paper. And did I mention that he was MAD? Really mad. He told me over and over how mad he was that I chose this HARD stuff for him to do. He threatened to tear up the paper. He threatened to mark all over it so he couldn't finish it. Although this is hard for me to write about, is he really any different from any of us adults? When we encounter HARD stuff, are we any more mature than this? Don't we throw tantrums? Don't we threaten God with all sorts of things? Don't we just want to quit? I know I do!

Another teachable moment laid before us. I got to talk him through his emotions. I got to tell him that it is okay to be angry and mad, however, it is not okay to hurt or destroy things in our anger.

In your anger do not sin.

Ephesians 4:26

I love that verse. I love it because it tells me that it's okay to have emotions. Another version says, "WHEN angry, do not sin." The anger/emotion isn't the issue, it's what I do IN the emotion that I have to be careful of.

While Trey was struggling through his lesson, I walked over and put my arm around him. I gave him a big hug and kiss and reassured him that he could do what we had chosen. I reassured him that I wasn't being hard on him to be mean. I reassured him that I loved him and that I was very proud of him for pushing through. He looked up at me with huge tears in his eyes again and said, "I know you love me mom. I just don't like hard things. I just don't like it when people push me." Again, my heart was plucked. Again, I was reassured that he really is my son! :) He is me in a little boy body!

Personally, I am in the midst of some hard things right now. In less than 3 weeks I will be around the world in Cambodia playing a small role in God's plan of justice against child sex trafficking and bonded slavery. Can I just let you in on a little secret? I am scared. I am nervous. I am totally out of my comfort zone. And I just said those exact same words to God last night that my sweet boy expressed to me today.

"God, I know you love me. You have me going to a hard place. You have me doing some hard things. I don't like it when you push me."

And do you know what He did this morning in my time with Him?

While I was struggling, He leaned down through His Word and put His arm around me. He gave me a big hug and kiss and reassured me that WE could do what He had chosen for me...together. He reassured me that He wasn't being hard on me to be mean...but for preparation. He reassured me that He loves me and that He is very proud of me for pushing through.

Man. What a day.

Life Lessons from Frog & Toad

Trey and I went to the library a few weeks ago to choose some good books to read. At that time we were still waiting for our curriculum to arrive in the mail, so we read, read, read and then read some more. We walked the aisles of the readers, pondering all of the many options. My eyes instantly fixed on the green binding of this book:

The Frog and Toad books were some of my absolute favorites as a child! So I did what any good mother would do...I got them ALL! :) Trey wasn't too thrilled at my choice initially. The first thing he said was, "Mom, those pictures are not colorful at all!" I asked him to trust me. He said he would and we were on our way. But not before he picked out this one:

At first I protested. Riddled with first time homeschooling doubt I thought, "He can't read THAT! THAT isn't good enough for our reading time! He needs to be reading better things!" I felt a quiet nudge in my heart to ease up and find some freedom in our new adventure. Let me just assure you that he's had his nose in that book READING for about 4 weeks straight now!

I apologize for the rabbit trail...let's get back to Frog and Toad. :)

The very first story in the book is called "Tomorrow." The crux of the story is that Toad wakes up one morning and instantly begins to make a mental list of all the things he need to accomplish that day. He decides he would rather wait until tomorrow to tackle his chores. As he lays in bed, he instantly begins to feel overwhelmed.

"Blah," said Toad. "I feel down in the dumps."

"Why?" asked Frog.

"I am thinking about tomorrow," said Toad. "I am thinking about all the many things that I will have to do."

I can't tell you how many times I have felt this exact same way...completely overwhelmed with tasks, worry and anxiety! As Trey and I read this story together, we had a great teachable moment. Not only did I get to share my own struggles with him, but I also got a chance to share TRUTH with him.

So do not worry about tomorrow;

for tomorrow will care for itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

As we school at home this year, we not only working on academics. We are working on character. We are working on making wise choices. We are working on pushing through the hard stuff. And most importantly, we are seeing that God is everywhere and totally applicable in ALL areas of our life.

I get to watch the light bulbs switch on!

Food for My Heart

I have not always had a consistent time with the Lord. To be quite honest, this is one of the areas that I lack the most discipline in. However, a few months ago, I was determined to change that. I asked God to give me a hunger for Him and His Word. You know what? He answered! Each and every time I open my Bible, I learn something new and fresh. It doesn't matter how many times I've read a particular passage, something new jumps off the page. He is not changing. His Word is not changing. He is changing ME...from the inside out. His Word brings life to my bones. His Word is refreshing to me. It's like that first drink of water you take right after a hard workout. Or that initial sip of your favorite flavored coffee in the morning as you try to wake up. You feel satisfied. Renewed. Rejuvenated. Alive.

Here are a few verses I studied this morning. I pray they bring life to you as well!

"Because he himself suffered when he was tempted,

he is able to help those who are being tempted."

Hebrews 2:18

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,

but we have one who has been tempted in every way,

just as we are - yet was without sin."

Hebrews 4:14-15

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

But when you are tempted,

he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

1 Corinthians 10:13

I love these because they let me know that I'm not alone in my struggles.

"The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold,

but the Lord tests the heart."

Proverbs 17:3

When tough times come (and they will!), God wants to use them to refine my faith and purify my heart.

"He who covers over an offence promotes love,

but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."

Proverbs 17:9

Forgiveness is pivotal in ANY relationship. I don't need to bring stuff back up if it has already been confessed and forgiven.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

I want to love well...in all circumstances.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine,

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Proverbs 17:22

I desire His joy...in all circumstances.

"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,

and a man of understanding is even-tempered."

Proverbs 17:27

I want God to show me when to speak and when to shut my hole!

Proverbs 2

What I read today: Proverbs 2

What stood out to me today:

Proverbs 2:1-11

¹ My son, IF you accept my words and store up my commands within you,

² turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,

³ and IF you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,

⁴ and IF you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,

⁵ THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

⁶ For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

⁷ He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

⁸ for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

⁹ THEN you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path.

¹⁰ For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

¹¹ Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. (emphasis mine)

What did I learn from these verses:

When I unpack these verses, I see one huge IF/THEN statement. "If" I do these things, "then" this will be the result. Sounds easy enough! Here is my problem: the majority of the time I want all the "thens" without doing any of the "ifs." I want all the benefits with little to no effort on my part. When things are hard, I usually don't begin the task at all, procrastinate like no body's business, or find a really good excuse to quit. I hate writing any of that, but it is true. The one and only area that does not apply to is my relationships. My family and my friends mean the world to me. I don't give up...ever...even to my detriment. I'm glad God put that trait in me. The journey I am on now is to use that trait in the other areas of my life. I need to be willing to do the hard work. I need help letting go of this false idea that everything has to be done perfectly or it is not worth doing. I just need Him.

God - Thank you for your Word today. Please give me the desire to search you out like hidden treasure. Please give me strength, wisdom and grace to do all that you want me to do. I love you!

Proverbs 1

What I read today: Proverbs 1

What verses stood out to me today:

Proverbs 1:7-9 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck."

Proverbs 1:15 "my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths;"

Proverbs 1:33 "but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm."

What did I learn from these verses:

I have been thinking about parenting a lot lately. My greatest desire, above all else, is that my kids would authentically know God and passionately follow Him all the days of their lives. I want them to know that He is everything. I want them to know that He is all that matters. I want them to know that He is the beginning and the end. I want them to know that they are nothing without Him and there is no good in them apart from Him. God has been showing me that "my" kids are His and not mine. Because I know who He is, I can honestly rest in what He has in store for them. My desire is that Trey and Shaefer be used in a mighty way for as long as they walk this earth, for His glory, not their own and not for mine. My prayer is that they would have an accurate view of themselves in light of who He is and in who He created them to be. He is teaching me to have a loose grip on "my" kids.

He has also been showing me that it begins in the home, with Alf and I as parents and as individual followers of Christ. I can TELL them these things about God, but if there is no ACTION in our lives the connection will not be made. I want them to respect and fear the Lord like in verse 7...that starts with us. Do I respect and fear the Lord? I want them to listen to our instruction and teaching like in verse 8. Am I spending the time I need with God so that I can pass along wise teaching and instruction? I want them to stand strong and resist when the peer pressure comes like in verse 15. Are they connected to God in a way that it is a heart issue instead of a behavior issue? Am I teaching them who God is and why He says what He says? I do not think I am being "too hard on myself" or allowing perfectionism to rule in this area. And yes, I know "God is in control." My point is that parenting is a HUGE deal! Parenting is an awesome responsibility and a honor. Ultimately, parenting changes me and refines me. I'm pretty sure God designed it that way!